Tuesday, August 9, 2011

To do

Thanks Racheal!  We still need to go visit Donna too! 

What I need to do is go meet with a Bankruptcy attorney (or two).  I had a meeting scheduled with one and didn't look at the paperwork they gave me until the night before and it was an intensive 32 pages of every money thing in my life.  It made me sick and i couldn't fill it all out and the next day I was dreading and thinking of canceling.. and I got a phone call that she called in sick.  I was like "whew" that gave me more time to fill out the paperwork correctly.  I think that was in May.  I haven't touched it. 

I believe what we need to do is file bankrupcty while we are still married.  I have even talked to the mortgage person "hypothetically" and she said she deals with it everyday.  We have everything at Prevail Credit Union - our Visa, a $12k loan, our mortgage and 2 bank accounts.  So we would be defaulting on our Visa and Loan with them. She said thatt SO many people at Prevail have had to do that recently. That yes, we'd be forced to close our accounts with them but they'd still keep the mortgage.  She is being so damn helpful with our mortgage, letting me make payments every pay day of whatever I can. I am just now starting on June. I just can't get 3 months behind.  I just filed for a modification, but that is only for 3 months and it sounds like basically what I am doing now?  She also told me if I am even thinking about filing bankruptcy then I should probably do it.  If it comes to a point that people are thinking about it, it is ususally bad enough that they need to.  I have been "thinking about it" for about 9 months now.... maybe even longer.  I even had a collections guy, that was trying to get money from me, tell me that if I was thinking about it, I should probably be doing it.  I can't even tell you how many things are in collections now.

I did start filling out the paper work for a legal separation yesterday while I was waiting for something.  I happen to have it in the truck.  You know, until Jake gets a job, I dont' know that we can get a divorce because I need to keep him on my insurance. He can't NOT have medical insurance.

The other thing I need to do is get a different bank account. 1)If I file bankruptcy then I need to get a new bank account from a different bank anyways.  2)I don't know why I keep letting Jake have access to the account and letting him buy cigarettes with my money.  The main reason is ease.  I have automatic withdrawals hooked to that account. He runs to the pharmacy for all of us and uses the debit card. He will go to the bank for me during the week.  Yes, I know... I need to stop using him for help... It is all easier said than done.  I am working my ass off 40 hours a week and he's doing nothing. He might as well be helpful. *sigh*  I kind of lost it this last week end though when I know for a fact that he bought beer with MY MONEY. 

My mom is his new best friend (he helped her  A LOT during the hospital and right after Geoff passed away but I think now she's getting tired of him.. he keeps telling he will help and then he doesn't... I keep telling her WELCOME TO MY LIFE!!)  Anyways, she doesn't care if he drinks beer there.  So he has found a place to drink out in the open. She thinks beer is harmless and hard alcohol is the bad stuff, so she doesn't care.  I really don't care. It is not my problem anymore. I told him that.  The only time it is my problem is when he wants to drive MY CHILDREN somewhere and I have to worry about whether he has been drinking or not. 

So, I have sort of hit a wall where I just want it over and done with. I was fine to just cruise along like we were but I am so done again.  How come when my mind is ready and raring to go is when my body decides to it want's to collapse?  It started crashing while Racheal was here and it just seems to keep going down. My boss has a respiratory infection (he NEVER gets sick.  1st time he's been on antibiotics in 10 years) and today I am all stuff up AND nose running.  I woke with a migraine and took my major kick-ass, worth my weight in gold migraine medicine. (I have like 3 left, they are $7 a pop and I'm not getting it refilled.  The other stuff I take is $1 a pill).  My body has ached like the flu for about 2 weeks and hurts even more the last 2 days and since Sunday I have been doubled over with stomach pain and nauseousness.  It is a little better today. I F*#$%#$ hate Fibromyalgia.

Ok, enough rambling for now.  I have a SHIT LOAD of work to do.  I am about a week behind.  No joke.

2 comments:

  1. This is the first time I've been able to post a comment for a week or so! Ugh! Well, let's see if it works.

    What I tried to post in another comment is this: anytime you need me to just be a silent presence while you go through papers and get stuff rolling, call me. I will be your silent support, and I will administer hugs when needed. You will get through this, Dem. You're stronger than you know. Stop with the putting off, take the bull by the horns, and wrestle the damn thing into submission. I know you can do it.

    I love you.

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