Sorry I meant to come back

I gave periods of coming close to completely shutting down and then I pop back up. (I just pictured a person in a life vest in the ocean... being sucked under and then bobbing back up). 

My home message was because of the girls.  They had a HORRIBLE fight, which some of you might go "Oh, is that all?" but it was more than just a fight. It involved shoving and a fall an injuries. Two emotional teen-age girls going through A LOT that need to be in counseling.  The one who needs it the most flat out refuses. I am playing phone tag with someone from a community counseling center for the other. Two days of total tension.  Of the girls not be able to be home alone together. Things are a little better, but still not great.

I have not contacted HUD yet because so far the Credit Union/Mortgage company is trying to work with us.  We are 3 months behind and they sent us a foreclosure letter but we are working on filling out some paperwork and trying to get some hardship thing (I can't remember what it is calld) that will help us out for 3 more month.  I applied for DSHS but I make too much. I applied for free school lunch but I haven't heard back yet.  I have yet to talk to PUD about a possible credit because I have a letter from DSHS, but it is on my list.  I have a list and I have been going down it.  I have had to call DSHS a couple of times and each time you have to spend about a half hour on hold.  That is very hard to do at work, especially since my desk is next to my boss's desk.   It is so hard to feel like you keep trying to do all the right things and nothing ever works out.

I have friends who ask me what they can do to help and I honestly DO NOT KNOW.  It is not a matter of pride. Never pride.  I learned at young age that I needed to be dependant on my self.  That I was the only one I could trust, that I was the only one there for me.  I only had myself for a long time.  But in the last few years I have had the love and support of some wonderful friends.  My chosen family.  I know they would do anything for me and I have leaned on them many times, and many times they have supported me without asking.  There are a couple people who just check in with me, text me randomly and that seems to help more than anything as it reminds me that I am not alone. Other than that, IF I KNEW WHAT THEY COULD DO TO HELP, I WOULD ASK!!!!  I just had a situation at the Jr High and I did ask for help... I have asked for advise several times on the situation actually. (oh, and I am going to the Jr High next Thurs for a mtg with a drug prevention specialist. Yay on both accounts - having to go to the school and yay for the need to meet w/such a person).

Jake is supposed to be finishing up this medical worksheet today so we can give our taxes to our neighbor (CPA) tomorrow.  I know we spent enough to get a medical deducation but we had trouble finding all the insurance papers needed.  Jake finally found them on Thursday.  Last year we got almost $7k back and we are in about the same situation.  I am not expecting that much but we usually get $2-3k back so I would expect at least that much, which would pay for Dec & Jan mortgage.

Girls night out at Mo's tonight.  I am looking forward to it ")  I need some hugs.