Boom boom

Karli stayed home from school yesterday (mental health day).  I went home at lunch to get her & bring her back to my work.  The boss was out for the day and the other guy that works there suggested getting her so she could play pinball, eat chips & drink pop and be with mom.

Once I was home, it was hard to leave and I stayed longer than planned.  Had lunch with both girls, which was  very nice. (Shortly after I had left work one of the other guys that I work with who will back me up on the phones had come in, so I wasn't feeling extremely stressed to go back to work AND as of 12:30 I had my 40 hours in and while OT is great for me, my boss doesn't really approve of it.)

Soooo, Karli and I were about to get in the car. I had my hands full, stepping carefully to avoid the mud as I got in the car.  Yet, something did not happen right. My foot slipped.  I went down hard on my butt and I think my knee twisted, and I rolled to end up parrallel to the car.  Stuff in both hands, my arms like trapped to my sides so Karli had to take stuff away from me before I could even try to get up.   As I fell, I had flashbacks to the 2004 playground fall in which I herniated my disc and sprained my knee & ankle.  I thought I might be able to just go into the house & change and use ice for a bit and then go back to work. HAHA Within 10 minutes I was having major spasms from my neck on down. Knif3 like pains in my buttocks.

I have had that playground flashback several times since then.  The mud on the back side of my jeans is EXACTLY where my pain has been.  That is where I hit hard.  I keep looking to see if its black & blue because it feels like it should be.  Something feels wrong. My knee and shin hurt, I get twinges in my ankle.  All of that is connected to your discs in your spine though and that is where the pain could be coming from.  If I didn't have a herniated disc then, I might now.  

If there is a God up there, I really don't know what I ever did to piss him off so much.  I certainly don't think he's a very loving god. I just keep trying to do right by my girls and myself.  Hanging by my fingernails and then I get these blows to knock me down.  I managed to talk them out of turning off my water yesterday by paying half.  I had to borrow money from Karli until next Friday, leaving me w/40 for gas & food.  When I went back to work I was supposed to call PUD to talk to them about not turning off the power w/out offering them any money til Fri.  All my info is at work (Had tried 2x before but had to get off hold to answer work calls). 

Ok, I have to quit typing. I keep making typos.  Between pain & muscle relaxers, my mind is fuzzy and typing is not easy.  I am just so frustrated and unhappy.