Going against the Dr

So, I sort of think of Dr's as authority figures and being the people pleaser that I am, I always want to do what they say.  However,  I just did not like the feeling I was having from the RA insisting that I see this particulat Neurosurgeon, knowing that I had seen his partner for my anneurysm.  I spent 90 minutes with the guy.  I feel comfortable with him.  The area that needs to be looked at is not very far away from my anneurysm.  Doesn't it seem to make sense you'd keep the same person, unless you didn't like them?

When I called the Neurosurgeon place, at first the scheduler tried to tell me that I couldn't even see the other guy as the 3 Dr's had a policy in place that if someone saw one of the Dr's, that one of the others would not see them.  Sounds ethical to me.  They don't want have a competition thing in place.  I told her how strongly the Dr was insisting, so she put me on hold for a bit and came back on & said she had gotten permission to transfer my file.  Basically saying that I would become the new Dr's patient only.  She also said that she wasn't supposed to have a favorite but personally she thought the one I HAD seen was a ROCKSTAR.  My gut was churning.  I told her that I was probably wrong to say so out loud but I almost felt like the two Dr's had a $$ thing between them.  She said that between her and me, that DID happen.  My jaw almost hit the desk.  She told me I had to go with my gut.  I said that I didn't want to make the Dr mad at me, but it was MY body.  I chose to go with MY original Dr.  Part of me is bracing for an attack from the RA.  I saw Stan today though and he said to remember that I hired the RA.  That he WORKS FOR ME.  I shouldn't be scared of him.  I just feel like he holds my life & hope in his hands.  Anyways, I see the Neurosurgeon on the 27th unless they have a cancellation before then. 

We got a letter from our mortgage company that we have entered into the foreclosure process.  We can gather all of this paperwork and have a meeting with them to discuss things.  But they basically want about $2700.  We owe Dec & Jan morgtage and a little of Nov.  I just canceled the insurance on the Mustang and am either going to drive the Geo or the truck.  Jake say he will drive the Geo.  Neither of our bodies can handle the stick/clutch too well.  The car is a P.O.S. that needs work done on it.  Kallyn's car needs tires DESPARATELY.  They told her it was dangerous to drive it. 

My arms & fingertips are getting awfully tired of holding me on the edge of the roof.  I am ready to just let go.