Definitely a Monday

I have fought depression for years and take meds for it but it doesn't always stop it completely and I can feel a bout of it coming on.  I am going to fight it hard though.  I let it take over a bit this morning.  I said on FB that I hit dismiss instead of snooze but truth is, it was a conscious decision.  I said "The hell with it, I just can't get up yet." and turned off my alarm. The dog woke me up an hour later.  I feel like crap today, I have already had this cold thing twice and I don't want it again but there is pressure on my chest and my head is stuff.  I have had pain in my left shoulder for about two weeks.  Sometimes is this deep bone ache and sometimes it's this really weird twitching.  I know it's Fibro but I have never ever had it in my arm like this. Right in the shoulder joint.  I don't like it at all.  Oh, I had to stop at the Water place this morning to pay part of the bill so they didn't shut me off today.  How in the hell am I supposed to not pay any bills so that I can file bankruptcy if I keep getting shut off notices?  I don't understand and it makes my stomach in knots.

The only thing going for me is that there IS blue sky out my window at work.  Gray and rain would push me over the edge.