I have two daughters with two different stories (as usually is the case).
One adamantly swears she did NOT push her sister, that she just wanted to get past her and might have bumped her. She has cried many tears. She is upset that we would believe that she would hurt her sister.
The other says that her sister "lost it" and not only shoved her but had her hand back in a fist for a minute like she might punch her too. She fell against this wood table, her arm was sore for several days and her foot has really hurt her since and is getting worse, so she went to the Dr. Turns out she has a stress fracture. She is broken hearted and says she feels so alone because no one believes her. Her parents don't believe her, her boyfriend doesn't believe her. No one believes that her sister would do such a thing. She says SHE wouldn't believe it either, that is why she was so scared when it happened.
WHAT IS A PARENT TO DO IN SUCH A SITUATION??? I keep saying that I will not take sides, that I was not there, no one was there to witness it and that everyone has there own sides and own perceptions.
But Kallyn can here the hesitiation in my voice that I don't believe Karli would do such a thing. I told her maybe I'm just in denial that my child is capable. But she wants more. She wants me to say I choose her and to punish Karli.
I am still waiting on my taxes. Usually when we give our taxes to our neighbor he gives them back the same day or at least by the next day. I took them over SATURDAY. This is WEDNESDAY. I know, I know... this is tax season... I'm just saying this is unusual and I am in dire straights. I am going to call him today. The credit union is done with payments. They now want the full amount by the end of the month. $2450 or they are sending our mortgage on to the foreclosure department. *sigh* I almost don't even care anymore. I am about out of fight.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Why?
Kallyn went to the doctor (well, Nurse practioner technically) today because she was sure she had a sinus infection and because her foot has been killing her ever since the ahem *fight* that she and Karli had last Wednesday. She had an x-ray and it is suspected that it is a stress fracture but not sure so they are sending her for an MRI. O.M.G. They don't want her to stand on it. She is supposed to work for 7.5 hours a day on her feet for the next 4 days.... and yes, she has a sinus infection.
Congrats to Mo on her job. Hopefully this is her turning around point.
Congrats to Mo on her job. Hopefully this is her turning around point.
Waiting for the other shoe to drop
My power of positive thinking on Friday?
PATOOEY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is the nicest word I can think of to say.
My positive day Friday?
Kallyn working her first day all by herself ended up with her leaving work early sicker than a dog. She spent most of the day at work puking. She thought she had the flu but she has spent the last few days in bed, probably with a sinus infection. She is calling the Dr today. She was supposed to work Saturday and Monday and she did not. Being that it is a coffee/food stand, her boss doesn't want her there with her germs.
Karli going to Fieldwork from 4-6 on Friday to earn $100? Almost didn't end well. They were supposed to be there at 3:45 to check in, which her FATHER knew. I sent him the email with directions and instruction. I emailed it to him at 10 am. I texted him to let him know that I sent it. He was at our house at 2, Karli get home close to 3. They were to leave at 3. Weeeeellll, I guess Karli said she was tired to he told her to lay down and take a short nap. W.T.H.??? He believes that EVERYONE should spend their lives in bed resting. sleeping. doing nothing. That is his cure for everything. So they left the house at 3:30. To get to downtown Seattle at 3:45. You can't always get there in a half hour, so getting there by 4 was touchy. If you are late to this then you don't get in. You don't get paid. Of course their whole drive there I am texting and asking where they are. Completely stressed out. Not working. Pissed to high heaven. They got there at 4:10. At 4:23 I texted JAke and said "Well, did she get in?" His response "We are waiting in the lobby." "WAITING FOR WHAT?"
Meanwhile I am talking to Kallyn on the phone, she is crying because her boss showed up to work to check on her on her first day and flipped out because Kallyn was working and she was sick. Germs everywhere. She sent her home. Kallyn said she had been trying to call her for 2 hours and she hadn't answered her phone but then she was mad at her like she should have called her.
Then I got a text at 4:33 from Karli saying that she didn't get to go in but they GAVE HER THE $100 Visa Gift card anyways. She is so damn lucky and so is Jake. He got to live.
I had a nice Saturday and nice Sunday, until 9:20 pm when Kallyn called me and said "Had Jeanetha been sick?" and I told her not that I knew of. She said "Demison posted RIP Mom on his FB" and I said "NOOOOOOO!" I said "I am pretty sure his dad has had cancer more than once, are you sure it doesn't say RIP Dad?" and she said "No, it says RIP Mom" I was freaked so I texted Mo to see if she knew anything. She didn't but I freaked her out. I went to Jeanetha's FB page and other people's FB page. Nothing. I messaged her best friend and she responded fairly quickly confirming, that yes it was true, that Jeanetha was gone. It was a heart attack. I was never good friends with her but I would say more than acquaintances. Kallyn went to Kindergarten with one of her sons and all the way through school, so that means I've known her for 14 years. It seems that EVERYONE knows her. She was a very popular bus driver so kids and parents know her. Her sons played sports, She was involved in PTA, involved in church and she did have a smile that lit up a room. And only 43 years old. Do you know how scary that is?? Oh, and she worked at Childrens. I am thinking how torn up her coworkers must be. I know the bus drivers are.
I am came to work today and now there is a blizzard outside my office. My boss just left and told me (with a laugh) not to get lost in the blizzard. HELLO?!? Can I go home please? I don't know how bad it's supposed to get. I supposed I should have listened to the news last night instead of laughing at them when they said it was going to snow. They are SOOOO often wrong.
Ok, now that I am thoroughly depressed. I must get to work. It is a Monday & a Tuesday on a payroll week. Busy Busy.
PATOOEY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is the nicest word I can think of to say.
My positive day Friday?
Kallyn working her first day all by herself ended up with her leaving work early sicker than a dog. She spent most of the day at work puking. She thought she had the flu but she has spent the last few days in bed, probably with a sinus infection. She is calling the Dr today. She was supposed to work Saturday and Monday and she did not. Being that it is a coffee/food stand, her boss doesn't want her there with her germs.
Karli going to Fieldwork from 4-6 on Friday to earn $100? Almost didn't end well. They were supposed to be there at 3:45 to check in, which her FATHER knew. I sent him the email with directions and instruction. I emailed it to him at 10 am. I texted him to let him know that I sent it. He was at our house at 2, Karli get home close to 3. They were to leave at 3. Weeeeellll, I guess Karli said she was tired to he told her to lay down and take a short nap. W.T.H.??? He believes that EVERYONE should spend their lives in bed resting. sleeping. doing nothing. That is his cure for everything. So they left the house at 3:30. To get to downtown Seattle at 3:45. You can't always get there in a half hour, so getting there by 4 was touchy. If you are late to this then you don't get in. You don't get paid. Of course their whole drive there I am texting and asking where they are. Completely stressed out. Not working. Pissed to high heaven. They got there at 4:10. At 4:23 I texted JAke and said "Well, did she get in?" His response "We are waiting in the lobby." "WAITING FOR WHAT?"
Meanwhile I am talking to Kallyn on the phone, she is crying because her boss showed up to work to check on her on her first day and flipped out because Kallyn was working and she was sick. Germs everywhere. She sent her home. Kallyn said she had been trying to call her for 2 hours and she hadn't answered her phone but then she was mad at her like she should have called her.
Then I got a text at 4:33 from Karli saying that she didn't get to go in but they GAVE HER THE $100 Visa Gift card anyways. She is so damn lucky and so is Jake. He got to live.
I had a nice Saturday and nice Sunday, until 9:20 pm when Kallyn called me and said "Had Jeanetha been sick?" and I told her not that I knew of. She said "Demison posted RIP Mom on his FB" and I said "NOOOOOOO!" I said "I am pretty sure his dad has had cancer more than once, are you sure it doesn't say RIP Dad?" and she said "No, it says RIP Mom" I was freaked so I texted Mo to see if she knew anything. She didn't but I freaked her out. I went to Jeanetha's FB page and other people's FB page. Nothing. I messaged her best friend and she responded fairly quickly confirming, that yes it was true, that Jeanetha was gone. It was a heart attack. I was never good friends with her but I would say more than acquaintances. Kallyn went to Kindergarten with one of her sons and all the way through school, so that means I've known her for 14 years. It seems that EVERYONE knows her. She was a very popular bus driver so kids and parents know her. Her sons played sports, She was involved in PTA, involved in church and she did have a smile that lit up a room. And only 43 years old. Do you know how scary that is?? Oh, and she worked at Childrens. I am thinking how torn up her coworkers must be. I know the bus drivers are.
I am came to work today and now there is a blizzard outside my office. My boss just left and told me (with a laugh) not to get lost in the blizzard. HELLO?!? Can I go home please? I don't know how bad it's supposed to get. I supposed I should have listened to the news last night instead of laughing at them when they said it was going to snow. They are SOOOO often wrong.
Ok, now that I am thoroughly depressed. I must get to work. It is a Monday & a Tuesday on a payroll week. Busy Busy.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Scooter and then Good things
Scooter has been gone a week now. I cry at least once every day, if not several. Work keeps me distracted but going home is SO hard. I want to hold the other cats sooo close to me but at the same time, it is hard to see them without thinking of Scooter. Ok, tearing up.
I seem to just talk about negative things so I am going to focus on a few positive things:
THERE IS BLUE SKY OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW!
IT's FRIDAY
I HAVE MONDAY OFF!
FieldWork called Karli last night and today from 4-6 she is doing a study on bubblegum. She is going to go chew gum for 2 hours and get paid $100! She is E S T A T I C. (and Kallyn is a little upset because she didn't pass the phone survey a couple weeks ago to do the same thing).
Then they called right back for me and I am doing a music survey on the 26th. 3 hrs for $90. I did one once before and the 3 hrs flew by. You listen to 5 seconds of a song & rate it 1-5 on if you like it, sick of it etc. You are helping an unknown radio station with their programming. Kinda cool. I think it is WARM. You can often get a hint from the survey questions.
Kallyn loves her job. Today is her 1st day by herself so she is really nervous. Her computer had died but my coworker spent hours on it, recovering everything, buying a new hard drive and then putting it all back together. All because he likes to do it and because he likes us. ")
I am going to see Jen tomorrow while Coco is in dance class. I miss Jen SO much! Then I am going to go visit Kallyn while she is working and check out "Cafe Oue Ragazze"
Of course there is not so great stuff going on but I am trying really hard today to focus on the positive.
I seem to just talk about negative things so I am going to focus on a few positive things:
THERE IS BLUE SKY OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW!
IT's FRIDAY
I HAVE MONDAY OFF!
FieldWork called Karli last night and today from 4-6 she is doing a study on bubblegum. She is going to go chew gum for 2 hours and get paid $100! She is E S T A T I C. (and Kallyn is a little upset because she didn't pass the phone survey a couple weeks ago to do the same thing).
Then they called right back for me and I am doing a music survey on the 26th. 3 hrs for $90. I did one once before and the 3 hrs flew by. You listen to 5 seconds of a song & rate it 1-5 on if you like it, sick of it etc. You are helping an unknown radio station with their programming. Kinda cool. I think it is WARM. You can often get a hint from the survey questions.
Kallyn loves her job. Today is her 1st day by herself so she is really nervous. Her computer had died but my coworker spent hours on it, recovering everything, buying a new hard drive and then putting it all back together. All because he likes to do it and because he likes us. ")
I am going to see Jen tomorrow while Coco is in dance class. I miss Jen SO much! Then I am going to go visit Kallyn while she is working and check out "Cafe Oue Ragazze"
Of course there is not so great stuff going on but I am trying really hard today to focus on the positive.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Weekend
I had fun Saturday... of course. Although it was disappointing that no one got tipsy enough to laugh at.
When I got home though and there was still no sign of Scooter, I lost it. I had been calling for him and looking around the neighborhood all day Saturaday. I realized Saturday morn that I hadn't seen him since Thursday AM. I was awake until 5:30. Crying. Kallyn came home at 1:300 but I didn't tell her until the morning. We just do. not. need. this.
He is just such a loving, snuggling BIG boy! He looks like a lion but we call him our cowardly lion because the birds making noise in the backyard will scare him. The wind blowing the trees will scare him. He is also are whiney boy. He doesn't MEOW, he MOW's or Maaaaaaw. He is my "potty buddy". For some reason he LOVES to sit on your lap when you go to the bathroom. As soon as you reach for the toilet paper, he jumps down. He just likes that little snuggle. If he sees you heading that way, he will run after you. Sometimes he goes in to the bathroom and Maw's and stands by the toilet like he is telling you to sit down. So you sit on the toilet (pants up) and he jumps up and sits down. Sometimes when you reach for the toilet paper he will lean back into you, like "nope, I'm not done snuggling yet." Scooter James. Scooter Booter Buddy Boy. Scoot. Buddy.
I am praying he's alive and that we find him but I just feel this heaviness in my heart. I started feeling it on Saturday. Like I just know that a coyote got him. I am not trying to be negative... not at all. You know people often say that they can feel when someone is gone. I just have this deep ache in my heart. Like I know he's gone. Damn. tears starting again. I have to go.
PS I did make several phone calls at lunch. I make too damn much money for some help ... and I am playing phone tag with other people. Spent lots of time on hold for nothing.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Sorry I meant to come back
I gave periods of coming close to completely shutting down and then I pop back up. (I just pictured a person in a life vest in the ocean... being sucked under and then bobbing back up).
My home message was because of the girls. They had a HORRIBLE fight, which some of you might go "Oh, is that all?" but it was more than just a fight. It involved shoving and a fall an injuries. Two emotional teen-age girls going through A LOT that need to be in counseling. The one who needs it the most flat out refuses. I am playing phone tag with someone from a community counseling center for the other. Two days of total tension. Of the girls not be able to be home alone together. Things are a little better, but still not great.
I have not contacted HUD yet because so far the Credit Union/Mortgage company is trying to work with us. We are 3 months behind and they sent us a foreclosure letter but we are working on filling out some paperwork and trying to get some hardship thing (I can't remember what it is calld) that will help us out for 3 more month. I applied for DSHS but I make too much. I applied for free school lunch but I haven't heard back yet. I have yet to talk to PUD about a possible credit because I have a letter from DSHS, but it is on my list. I have a list and I have been going down it. I have had to call DSHS a couple of times and each time you have to spend about a half hour on hold. That is very hard to do at work, especially since my desk is next to my boss's desk. It is so hard to feel like you keep trying to do all the right things and nothing ever works out.
I have friends who ask me what they can do to help and I honestly DO NOT KNOW. It is not a matter of pride. Never pride. I learned at young age that I needed to be dependant on my self. That I was the only one I could trust, that I was the only one there for me. I only had myself for a long time. But in the last few years I have had the love and support of some wonderful friends. My chosen family. I know they would do anything for me and I have leaned on them many times, and many times they have supported me without asking. There are a couple people who just check in with me, text me randomly and that seems to help more than anything as it reminds me that I am not alone. Other than that, IF I KNEW WHAT THEY COULD DO TO HELP, I WOULD ASK!!!! I just had a situation at the Jr High and I did ask for help... I have asked for advise several times on the situation actually. (oh, and I am going to the Jr High next Thurs for a mtg with a drug prevention specialist. Yay on both accounts - having to go to the school and yay for the need to meet w/such a person).
Jake is supposed to be finishing up this medical worksheet today so we can give our taxes to our neighbor (CPA) tomorrow. I know we spent enough to get a medical deducation but we had trouble finding all the insurance papers needed. Jake finally found them on Thursday. Last year we got almost $7k back and we are in about the same situation. I am not expecting that much but we usually get $2-3k back so I would expect at least that much, which would pay for Dec & Jan mortgage.
Girls night out at Mo's tonight. I am looking forward to it ") I need some hugs.
My home message was because of the girls. They had a HORRIBLE fight, which some of you might go "Oh, is that all?" but it was more than just a fight. It involved shoving and a fall an injuries. Two emotional teen-age girls going through A LOT that need to be in counseling. The one who needs it the most flat out refuses. I am playing phone tag with someone from a community counseling center for the other. Two days of total tension. Of the girls not be able to be home alone together. Things are a little better, but still not great.
I have not contacted HUD yet because so far the Credit Union/Mortgage company is trying to work with us. We are 3 months behind and they sent us a foreclosure letter but we are working on filling out some paperwork and trying to get some hardship thing (I can't remember what it is calld) that will help us out for 3 more month. I applied for DSHS but I make too much. I applied for free school lunch but I haven't heard back yet. I have yet to talk to PUD about a possible credit because I have a letter from DSHS, but it is on my list. I have a list and I have been going down it. I have had to call DSHS a couple of times and each time you have to spend about a half hour on hold. That is very hard to do at work, especially since my desk is next to my boss's desk. It is so hard to feel like you keep trying to do all the right things and nothing ever works out.
I have friends who ask me what they can do to help and I honestly DO NOT KNOW. It is not a matter of pride. Never pride. I learned at young age that I needed to be dependant on my self. That I was the only one I could trust, that I was the only one there for me. I only had myself for a long time. But in the last few years I have had the love and support of some wonderful friends. My chosen family. I know they would do anything for me and I have leaned on them many times, and many times they have supported me without asking. There are a couple people who just check in with me, text me randomly and that seems to help more than anything as it reminds me that I am not alone. Other than that, IF I KNEW WHAT THEY COULD DO TO HELP, I WOULD ASK!!!! I just had a situation at the Jr High and I did ask for help... I have asked for advise several times on the situation actually. (oh, and I am going to the Jr High next Thurs for a mtg with a drug prevention specialist. Yay on both accounts - having to go to the school and yay for the need to meet w/such a person).
Jake is supposed to be finishing up this medical worksheet today so we can give our taxes to our neighbor (CPA) tomorrow. I know we spent enough to get a medical deducation but we had trouble finding all the insurance papers needed. Jake finally found them on Thursday. Last year we got almost $7k back and we are in about the same situation. I am not expecting that much but we usually get $2-3k back so I would expect at least that much, which would pay for Dec & Jan mortgage.
Girls night out at Mo's tonight. I am looking forward to it ") I need some hugs.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
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