Could things be looking up?

I turned in the paper work for the 401k loan Friday.  Now I'm stuck working where I'm at for the next 3 years or I have a balloon payment when I leave.  But I am getting enough to get almost caught up on mortgage and to file bankruptcy.

While we were all stuck in the snow I managed to apply for a job at a local, very community oriented pizza place.  They have just a carry out/delivery place now but are opening a sit down place in March that will serve wine & beer.  His staff now is pretty much all HS kids.  He is in need of some people over 21 to be able to pour the alcohol.  I stopped in to pick up pizza during the snow & filled out an app & talked to him. He called me next day to set up an interview.  I had the interview on Saturday and he offered me the job right there, which he said he doesn't usually do.  I will prob work 2 evenings from 6-10 and Sat or Sun for 8 hrs.  Hopefully by the grace of god my body will be up to it.  I am actually looking forward to it so I think that will help with the adjustment and by the time I'm bored with it, my body should be used to it... right?  I don't see people at my work...I get so lonely (that's why I'm on FB so much - to have human contact in way) and I love working with people so I am actually looking forward to working with the public and it's right in my backyard so I should know a lot of the people that come in. I will be working mostly with teenagers and I do well with them. I might start training next week.  Pete told me that in the next 3 weeks I was going to make an awful lot of pizzas.  ")  I won't be doing that at the new store, but he has everyone learn how to do everything - which I LOVE.

He is totally flexible on scheduling so I told him that I wanted Friday or Saturday night free.  I have to have some time to go DANCING!!! Hopefully I will have the energy to do it.

We had plans to go to Tulalip Thursday night, which got cancelled due to weather and the same group of people were going Friday.  I had told them I couldn't go because I wasn't going to go 2 nights in a row.  All day Friday I was trying to decide.  Tulalip just seemed SO FAR and I would be going by myself. 

I should back up and say that I've been going to meetings lately. Since a Xmas party I went to in Dec that was all AA and NA people, I've been hanging out w/the hostess A LOT (pretty much lived there during snow storm) and getting to know her friends. I'm not going to mtgs because I feel like drinking/using but because they really help with living life on life's terms. I feel like I need the emotional, mental and spiritual help right now and meetings cost $1, much cheaper than therapy.  I think pretty much everyone would benefit from going through the 12 steps. Like the mtg we went to on Thurs, the topic was basically "making mountains out of molehills" and other one was "just for today". 

Anyways, Fri I decided to go to a 7:30 meeting and see how I felt afterwards. The band started at 9:30 but people were getting there at 7:30.  In my head I think I already decided I wasn't going. I was sort of in a bad mental space. I have something else going on that I've been letting mind f#ck me (men...sigh...).  Anways, I went to meeting. Came home and climbed in to my bed (still clothed) with my laptop, at about 9 and decided I was staying home.  My mind started going off again about this "thing" and at 9:20 I climbed out of bed and changed my shirt and put on my dancing boots and out the door I went.  I have never been to Tulalip before. I walked into the bar and was trying to find my group and Andy (not w/my group, but someone I know) saw me and grabbed me to the dance floor.  Andy is the greatest thing EVER for my ego.  He's the one I was so proud of myself for dancing with  a few months ago because he's so outrageous and I went out of my comfort zone to dance with him.  Now I can't get enough dancing with him. I don't like him or anything. no no no.  He's just a great dancer and at least once he will dip me really low and then pick me way up and spin me around.  Very attention getting and very unlike me.  I wish you all could see it. Within 2 minutes of being there and dancing, my mood had gone from 0-100 and I was SO incredibly glad I had come.  So much happier.  OMG, I LOVE dancing!!!! 

Then I was "made" to play the slots afterwards.  My friends had a coupon that if you had $20, you'd get a voucher for $30 to play the slots.  Someone lent me their 20 and then we cashed in the voucher so that I could have the $10 in free money to play with. Cool, huh?  I came home with $5!.... a little after 4 am and I'd had coffee in order to make it home so I was awake until about 6.  If my body was left to keep it's own schedule, it would stay up until 2 or 3 am and get up at 8:30-9.  So, after a week of snow and mixed up schedules, it just sort of reverts that way really easilty.  I wonder if that's why I get insomnia so much too.

Well... that's all I gots for now. Typed way more than I meant to.