hmmmm

I took Karli to the Dr yesterday, her leg was bothering her and it was pretty swollen after her game Tuesday night.  She felt something pull in her left leg 2 wks ago, up above her knee, then a few days later she got a concussion and had to rest for a week, so her leg was feeling better.  After playing 4 games last weekend, her leg started hurting, but in the back of her knee & her calf.  The Dr thinks she had 2 separate injuries and this one is pulled calf muscles, similar to pulling your groin or hamstring. She is to sit out of PE for another wk.  She got hit right in the face with a big red rubber ball Wed playing kickball in PE, knocked on her butt and made really dizze - so I am FINE with sitting out for another week.  She IS allowed to play her 2 softball games this week, & then she doesn't have a game until the 14th.  Hopefully she will be healed by then.  This is the kid that NEVER gets sick or injured.  In the last 2 weeks she has now had a sinus infection, a concussion, pulled hamstring and pulled calf muscles.  ALL UNRELATED INJURIES.  She has always adamantly said she will NOT be like the rest of the Jacobson's in her house.

Kallyn is working feverishly on her schoolwork.  She IS going to graduate. June 6 at the NPAC. No doubt in my mind.  (Just cross fingers that the stupid Senior Project that is pass-fail is good enough) She spent about 8 hours yesterday on Math and has no plans today except schoolwork. OH and she got a call the other night that the daughter of a friend of ours is doing her 8th grade health project on RND and wanted to interview Kallyn.  Kallyn was SO thrilled that someone else wanted to help spread the awareness.  She is also going to the health fair to be their "show & tell".

That man came over & mowed the yard yesterday.  It looks very nice, instead of looking like an overgrown jungle.  He CAN be useful once in awhile. He just frustrates the hell out of me and most conversations end up with me mad so I try to not talk to him too much. He FINALLY signed up with a temp agency.  One that specializes in the medical profession.  Personally, I think he should sign up with several temp agencies, but hey, after yelling and screaming about signing up with one for 6 months, I will take at least one. 

I haven't talked to anyone about Bankruptcy because I don't know where to go that I can trust.  It seems like there are so many bad people out there, so if you know of anyone, let me know.  I am still wrestling with it.  I hate to do it, not so much out of pride, but feeling horrible screwing all of the people that are rightfully owed the money.  But I also feel like I am in a plane going down and in that case you are supposed to put your own oxygen mask on first...

My aunt sent me something that I have put on the steering wheel of the truck to help remind me (being alone with my mind in the car is not always safe for me). It says: You can do this. I know you can, because I did and I am not any smarter, stronger or more functional than you are!  It helps some, though I am not sure I agree. She has always been there for me.  I truly don't think I would have survived my teenage years w/o her.  I feel so 'stuck"  I just can't seem to make myself move into action. No one can do it for me.  I just feel like I am stuck in the mud or quicksand and I am having trouble moving.  My mind feels filled with mud and it's hard to think.  I can blame it on the "Fibro-Fog" all I want, but I'd like to think I am stronger than that. SO damn frustrating.   Ok, mostly just sort of talking/typing out loud here now, don't know where I am really going and I have LOTS of work to do!