I have logged in to blog several times and have had an anxiety attack. Instead of dealing with deep feelings right now, I'm going with some happy ones. ")
Karli had a softball tournament this weekend. SOOOO glad the weather was beautiful. It doesn't even bother me that it is POURING down rain right now because I am so thankful we were blessed with great weather during the 5 games we watched. (I have a little sunburn on my face so I feel like I am glowing & was hit with a bit of Spring). It was sort of heartbreaking that they came in 2nd - they played SO HARD. Their record is now 10-2. They were undefeated going into the Championship game. Because they lost that game and it was their first lost of the tournament, they turned around & played the same team again and lost it too but both games were nail biters. One team would pull ahead, then the other would. It is Kar's 4th year playing softball (she played fastpitch in 1st-3rd grade then took a break for 2 yrs & joined softball). It is just amazing to see the growth in these girls over the last 4 yrs, some of them have improved greatly just from last season. I am so proud of them - win or lose, but it sure is fun to win!
Kallyn is working like crazy to finish her hours in school work so that she can graduate. She has to finish her Senior project and do about 18 hrs of math and 24 hrs of biology. Unfortunately, she spends twice as much time stressing about what she needs to do than she does actually doing it. She gets that from her mom. *sigh* I so hope after all the work and stress she has done that she does graduate. If she doesn't, she is going to give up and get her GED and then she will always call herself dumb and a failure even though she is not in any way, shape or form.
In between softball I plucked away at that g*d d*mn POD storage unit. I hurt today like I haven't hurt in a long time. The weather switching like it didn't doesn't help at all. Kar decided she didn't want her daybed anymore and instead of arguing with her, I saw $$ signs. I have seen people trying to see the same bed for $200 on cr*igslist. I'm also going to sell the mobility scooter. I went to download pictures last night and the usb camera cord is broken and Jake took this other cool cord we have. I have to go to Normi's tonight & download them. With any luck I will make $700 soon.
I am seriously considering bankruptcy, which is really hard for me. That is part of what I've wanted to blog about but just can't. I don't know wether to file for divorce before bankruptcy or if it matters. I really want to file for divorce or be legally separated but can't come up with money for that. Part of me thinks it doesn't matter but then there is the other part of me that thinks if he doesn't any thing really stupid, it would be much better if ties were cut so I can't be held responsible. Ok. I'm starting to have trouble breathing... gotta go now.
I think you'd be ok if he did anything stupid, seeing as you are separated. But then it's not on paper, so don't quote me. I'm sorry about all this, I truly am. I keep telling Jose, "If we win the lottery, the first people I'm paying are my struggling buddies." I just wish I could be some help now. I truly do.
ReplyDeleteI'm very proud of Karli, that goes without saying. And Kallyn needs to get it out of her head that getting a GED means you're dumb. Jose got a GED, and he is definitely not dumb. But he had to work, so he had to do that. Look at all she's doing, and all she's been through. I think GED would be a blessing. That's Auntie Mo's two cents. If she brings in the "dumb" word, I'll pop her one. (Just saying.)
I love you!!!!
Welcome back Demery! Your friends are all here for you. We have all been struggling with all kind of things and yet we are all surviving. Wish I could make everything better. Hugs to you and the girls.
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