Uck

I have not felt good the last few days. Sick to my stomach and just body uck like I am coming down with something. Could not get out of bed this morning. Got up at 7:45. Left at 8, got to work at 8:20.

Me eldest hasn't been at home for 2 days because she hates it there and all we do is fight.

I found out something possibly very bad about my youngest this a.m. and I dread talking to her this evening.

My husband is driving me crazy and is he NOT only not looking for a job - he's NOT DOING THE F&*KING JOB that he has been temporarily handed in his lap. He could have easily about 30 hours last week and he had 14 because he is g@d d@mn lazy. The only way he is going to get a job is if I do the job hunting for him.

And I am also grieving the loss of a friend who I thought of as family. I did nothing to her but she just decided she didn't want to be in my life anymore. That really hurts. She says it's for the best because she will just end up hurting me, but I guess she doesn't realize how much she is hurting me now.

I just don't have it in me to deal with any of it. Anyone. I just want to curl up in bed with a book in fantasy land to distract myself from all of it. Everyone and everything. I feel like I just can't do it anymore. Just can't take it. I don't have the energy, the passion, the heart.