Thursday, February 16, 2012
I'm still here
Not doing great. Either is Karli, but we are coping. I'm having difficulty doing the things I'm supposed to be doing paperwork wise. It's just SO overwhelming. I just missed 3 days of work, I feel like crap physically, emotionally and spiritually. Up and down. So hard to explain so I'm just staying away. Sometimes you have to force a smile on your face and "fake it til you make it" so that's what I'm trying to do to the best of my ability.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Sat in her partially packed up room
this morning and lost it. I would lose it even if she were moving out on good terms but the fact that she's only talked to me twice since Monday and pieces of her childhood room are getting packed up without my help and I don't get to share in any joy in the adventure of moving out is just breaking my heart.
Thank you Shana. It is nice that someone said words of support. Even just saying hugs helps me not feel so alone.
Thank you Shana. It is nice that someone said words of support. Even just saying hugs helps me not feel so alone.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Moving out
I don't even know what happened. She won't talk to me. I really don't know what I did so wrong. She hates me. Disowned me. Going to live with my mom. I've been defriended from FB but I hear she's calling our house a "hellhole".
I know that many kids & parents go through something like this. I really think she is acting out of emotions that she doesn't quite understand and I think it has a lot to do with the divorce. I believe it is temporary and that we will get through this. I keep telling her I love her. I will always love her.
BUT that does not make it hurt any less. It doesn't mean that my heart isn't being ripped at the seams. It doesn't mean that the terribly horrible things she called me and said to me didn't cut... both me and Karli, who over heard it all and stayed home from school the next day.
Her moving out and getting away, even if it's for a little bit, is probably a good thing. A chance for her to grow some. A chance for us both to step back and look at things.
I love you with all my heart and soul Kallyn Mackenzie Jacobson.
I know that many kids & parents go through something like this. I really think she is acting out of emotions that she doesn't quite understand and I think it has a lot to do with the divorce. I believe it is temporary and that we will get through this. I keep telling her I love her. I will always love her.
BUT that does not make it hurt any less. It doesn't mean that my heart isn't being ripped at the seams. It doesn't mean that the terribly horrible things she called me and said to me didn't cut... both me and Karli, who over heard it all and stayed home from school the next day.
Her moving out and getting away, even if it's for a little bit, is probably a good thing. A chance for her to grow some. A chance for us both to step back and look at things.
I love you with all my heart and soul Kallyn Mackenzie Jacobson.
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