Lovely marred by sad

It always seems to be that way doesn't it? At least for me.  Saturday at 11 I went to a family function on my mom's side. I got to see a cousing that lives in Iowa.  She has theee most adorable 3 y/o daughter.  I admire her a lot.  She had a pretty rough life growing up (not horrible, but very dysfuntional parents) and she has been a cheerleader coach in small town and she is very admired, loved & respected.  She just retired from it and they threw a banquet for her.  She has been going to school on the side to become a teacher.  She finishes in Dec & walks next May.  She just turned 30 last week.  I saw her 2 yrs ago and before that it had been like 10 years. Her younger sister lives here and has a daughter that is almost 1.  I saw her last at about 1 mo old.  She too has done a lot.  She started saving babysitting money when she was young so she could get out of her house.  She graduated early and got out. There was 19 of us there, including my 84 y/o grandma who is the glue that holds us all together.  Because there are so many of us, we don't get together very often anymore.  The 19 was probably 1/3 of the family.  I've lost count of the cousin's & 2nd cousins.

Then at 4 I went to my sister's house (on my dad's side) and celebrated my only nephew's  1st birthday.  He loves trucks and cars right now and kept making a noise like a fire engine.  SO cute. My sister made this adorable dump truck cake.  I plan to post pictures on FB, I just haven't yet.

THEN at 6:30 I took Karli to babysite at a friend's house that is more family.  The girls call her Aunt and her kids are their cousins.  Kallyn came over too and after they came back from their "date night" we ended up talking and staying until 11:30.

So the sad part?  My step dad has been really sick for over a month.  I saw him on the 3rd for the first time (I didn't know until the 2nd that he had been sick for a month).  It shocked me how horrible he looked.  My mom had told me he had lost 25 lbs, but he's always looked about 9 mo pregnant, so I thought it would be a good thing - right?  Well, I wasn't expected his face to look sunken in.  And to me his skin looked yellow.  He looked more like 6 mo pregnant.  I don't think the image of him will leave me for awhile...it was spooky.  He got laid off in April so he has no insurance. He went to a Community Health Dr and they treated him for severe acid reflux. He's been coughing horribly and complaining of acid coming up when he laid down. I went home and Googled several different things and cirrhosis of the liver fit all of his symptoms. (He is an alcoholic). I told my mom the next day that I thought he looked jaundice and she was quick to point out his eyes weren't yellow. I noticed that too, but his skin was SO yellow.  He got his blood tested last Wed. Mom told me that she is sure he has cancer or something really bad and NOW she think's his skin is yellow.  I received a text at 9 :00 a.m. Saturday morning that just read "Liver disease. ttyl"  They are waiting for more results they don't know if it is hepatitis, liver cancer, cirrhosis of the liver or just what.

So while having fun with all my family, I kept thinking of my step dad.  He is 53.  Not very old and now there is a good chance that he will not live a whole lot longer.  For most liver problems, you can comfort the person, but you cannot cure it unless you get a transplant and I don't think he's a very good candidate.  My girls do not know yet.  I want to wait until there is an actual diagnosis.